HELLO MY DARLING GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL INSPIRING SOULFUL IMMACULATE PAYING SUBSCRIBERS!
It’s with slight pain that I realize this newsletter has turned into a *regular* thing, like laundry or flossing. (I’m sorry for thinking of you, my dear subscribers, that way. Ingrate, I am.) Writing here has become an act of maintenance.
Historically, I’ve hated anything that requires regular maintenance. I prefer chaotic rampages…write only once I can flood thousands of words onto a page, clean the bathroom only once a layer of soot has developed and exercise only once I’ve got a few pounds to lose. I’ve never wanted to do anything if the results weren’t going to be immediately apparent.
To be quite honest, I’m still not entirely over this. I still doubt daily commitments. I still fear regularity (convinced that it is the death of spontaneity). But I’m trying to be more of an adult these days. I’m trying to (ugh) have faith that there’s liberation in consistency or whatever.
I’m thinking about this because a couple of days ago I watched “How to Live a Chaotically Organized Life” on YouTube. The video basically validates the way I’ve always worked (in passionate spurts) and creates a system for people to be productive without all that *show up every day and improve little by little* crap that’s never really worked for me. As a person who has always struggled with schedules and finds a frankly alarming amount of enjoyment in anarchy, this video felt like proof that my methods haven’t been faulty.
But, at the same time, I’m also thinking of Slavoj Zizek’s recent pronouncement that we’re “addicted to chaos.”
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